


Necessary

by Runie (Runic)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Children, F/M, Family, Female Loki, Hockey, Lady Loki, Single Dad Thor, Single Parents, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-15 21:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1320526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runic/pseuds/Runie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his wife dies, Thor is forced to adjust to the life of a single parent. The only thing keeping his world from falling apart is having to take care of his daughter.</p><p>Meanwhile, Loki is busy taking down her old employer so that she can make her way back to her family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a simple fic for marty-mc dealing with Thor as a single parent. Somehow it developed a subplot of Loki as a secret agent. Don’t ask, I really don’t know what happened.
> 
> Also, Thor was originally a soccer coach, but I was watching a hockey game, and that seemed to fit so much better, so it got changed.

_The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present.  
Niccolo Machiavelli_

 

Loki peered over the side of the cliff, staring into the dark ravine. The noise of metal crunching against stone had stopped a few moments ago, and sure enough, a sudden explosion of fire and light shot forth from the wreckage of what was once Loki’s rental car.

Thin arms, not exactly comforting, wrapped around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Loki didn’t look away from the explosion, but her hand did reach up to rest against the other’s arm. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had to fake my own death.”

“I know, darling,” Amora answered, kissing the skin just above Loki’s ear. “You were fond of this one, weren’t you?”

She was, but the last thing Loki was going to do was let Amora know just how attached she had been to this identity. Amora may have escaped service, but her mind still worked with an agent’s logic. She wouldn’t understand the security and love Loki felt in having a home and husband.

Another car pulled up and Lorelei stepped out, dressed as if she were about to attend a photo shoot. “Let’s get going, before S.H.I.E.L.D. arrives this time preferably.”

Loki moved to exit Amora’s embrace, but she suddenly held on tighter, taking Loki off guard for a moment. That moment was more than enough for Amora. Loki felt the needle slipping into her neck even as she began to struggle. Amora continued to hold her close, petting her hair while she waited for the drugs to take effect. “Shh, dear. We’re only going to take you back to Thanos. He’s missed you so much.”

Lorelei grabbed Loki’s hands and forced them behind her back, binding them with plastic ties. “Besides, you always did look lovely in chains.”

Paralyzed and bound, Loki cursed herself for becoming soft as she was thrown into the trunk of Lorelei’s car. Amora and Lorelei worked quickly to bind Loki’s legs and gag her mouth as well, before shutting the trunk and leaving her in darkness. Her only chance now would be if she could reach her distress signal before they reached Thanos’ compound, but she was growing sleepy, and it was becoming hard to keep her eyes open.

_So very tired._

/

Thor pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes in a futile attempt to hold back tears. When he had opened the door to the man who introduced himself as Coulson, he had known something was wrong. Everything about the man screamed government. Thor had no idea what he could have done to warrant the interest of any government organization, but what came out the man’s mouth was so much worse than the scenarios that ran through Thor’s head.

“She can’t be dead,” Thor finally said. He took a deep breath, but his voice still wavered when he added, “Loki isn’t dead.”

“Mr. Odinson,” Coulson said calmly, pity lining his words, “I am sorry, but it’s true. Her car was forced off the road.”

“Let me see her!” Thor demanded, switching to anger so fast there was a brief flash of fear in Coulson’s eyes before he covered it up. “I want to see my wife!”

“I’m sorry, but the fuel tank exploded. Her body was severely burnt. I’m sorry…” Coulson said again and hesitated. Thor had to fight not to punch something. Hearing those two words felt like someone taking a grater to his skin. “But,” Coulson finally continued, “there are no disenabled features left. Even her teeth suffered damage. There were a few…pieces we were able to extract from the wreck and send to the morgue, but that’s all.”

So, in blunt terms, there was no body. His wife was gone, and all he had left were scraps. “Get out,” Thor snapped. He couldn’t look at Coulson for another second or else he would do something really stupid. “Get out!”

Coulson nodded, but paused to take something out of his pocket. “This is the number of the morgue where your wife’s body was taken. If there is anything we can do for you, Mr. Odinson, please contact us.” Coulson placed the card down on the coffee table and walked out into the hall.

Thor didn’t move, not when he heard the door shut, nor when he heard the car drive away. His whole world had just crashed around him and he had no idea what to do. For seven years he had been happily married to Loki. She had shared everything with him. They had a five year old daughter together, for god’s sakes.

Oh, oh god, Livvy. He was going to have to tell his daughter that her mother wouldn’t be coming home.

Thor sat down heavily on their too plush couch, unable to hold himself up any longer. The noise of his sobs echoed through their small house, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

/

Loki woke up groggy, her head pounding and movements sluggish. The drug was wearing off quicker than Lorelei or Amora had planned for, and really that was their own fault for not suspecting that Loki had built up certain resistances. She was still in the dark of the trunk, and judging by the noise, they were still driving.

She had enough room to kick out at the back lights, but any authorities that tried to stop Amora and Lorelei would only end up dead, and Loki would, at best, still be tied up in the trunk, at worst they’d decide it wasn’t worth it to keep her alive and put a bullet in her head, so that action was useless. Loki’s best path to rescue was her engagement ring. It took her a few minutes of flexing her fingers before she had enough feeling back in order to work her hands into a position where she could grip the ring’s setting and twist. It was rather anticlimactic when noting happened, but the ring had been outfitted by S.H.I.E.L.D. the moment Thor had given it to her. Twisting the setting would activate the GPS tracker they’d put in. The moment her GPS coordinates came online, all agents in the area would be alerted to her distress. Hopefully there were ones competent enough close by to take on Amora and Lorelei. Until then, all Loki could do was work on trying to escape the plastic ties binding her arms and legs together. Unfortunately, it seemed Amora and Lorelei were smart enough not to leave behind any instruments Loki could use to cut the ties.

When the car came to a stop and the sound of the engine died, Loki’s heart leapt into her throat. Muffled feminine voices reached her as Amora and Lorelei left the car before fading away. Loki waited a few moments, but nothing happened. If they were at Thanos’ compound, they would have dragged her out of the trunk immediately. They never were ones to wait when rewards were imminent.

Loki was busy cursing the both of them, at the moment mostly for tying her hands behind her, when a loud shout interrupted her thoughts. Something hit the car, causing it to shake. It was quickly followed by more sounds of more fighting. An arrow suddenly came through the hood of the car. Loki shouted angrily into the gag and kicked against the hood of the trunk. There was a flood of relief at seeing that stupid arrow, but if Clint shot her, Loki was going to stab him in the eye.

It was pure agony waiting for the fight to end, but the brief moment of silence that followed before Loki knew the outcome was even worse. The lock on the trunk click and Loki braced herself, but quickly relaxed when Natasha’s face filled her vision. Loki held still as Natasha pulled her knife out, quickly cutting Loki’s restraints.

“Behold!” Clint called as Natasha helped Loki out of the trunk, leaning her against the back of the car so Loki could take a moment to regain her balance. “Your saviors, that’s us by the way, have defeated the evil witches, and saved the mouthy princess!” The glare Loki gave him did nothing to wipe away the cocky grin plastered on Clint’s face.

“Clint!” Steve called, all business, from where he was shoving Amora into a S.H.I.E.L.D. truck. “A little help here.” It turned out that Amora and Lorelei had stopped at a diner, more likely to switch cars than eat. Unfortunately for them, their natural tendency to argue had slowed them down long enough for the agents to catch up to them.

“You’ve got other agents to help you!” Clint called back, even as he started for the truck. The other two agents, unfamiliar to Loki, did not seem all that pleased at even the joking prospect of having to deal with Lorelei by themselves.

“What happened?” Natasha asked her.

“Thanos,” Loki answered, spitting out her former employer’s name. “One of his agents made me. I was able to take him out, but I don’t know if he reported back before hand.”

“So you faked your own death.”

“Ah, so you saw the car wreck then.”

“We were there when Coulson alerted us that your distress signal had been activated.”

Loki took a deep breath, letting her eyes fall closed for a moment. If Coulson had seen it, that meant he’d be off to tell Thor. She knew it would have to happen the moment Thanos’ agent saw her, but it still hurt. There had been so many times she had told herself she never should have let Thor draw her in, but she had ended up loving him so much. She hated him for it, but no matter how she tried, Loki couldn’t stay away. But now, she’d have to leave both Thor and Livvy to keep them safe. “I had to do it.”

Natasha nodded. She knew; she’d had to do the same thing before after all. “Thanos won’t think you’re dead.”

“No, but if I’m not near them, it will be hard for Thanos to find them. Even if he does, he will think they no longer matter to me.” Loki’s throat tightened just saying it. Damn Thor for making her think a normal life was possible.

“Right.”

“Nat! Princess!” Clint called. “Let’s go!”

“Come on.” Natasha helped Loki up, wary of the effects of the drug still in Loki’s system. “We’ll get you back to HQ, and figure out our next move then.”  

Loki already knew her next move. She was going to eliminate Thanos and the threat he posed to her family.

/

 _One day without Loki._ “Daddy!”

Usually when Thor saw his daughter, his heart leapt in happiness. He had been overwhelmed when he realized how much he loved Loki, and it had happened all over again when Livvy was born. The only reason he hadn’t let himself fall apart completely was because of her.

Odin quickly gathered all the papers off the kitchen table, and stored them away from Livvy’s sight. She had only just started reading, not that she would have been able to understand what she could read anyways, but it still felt wrong to let her see all the paperwork involved for Loki’s funeral. Thor had arranged for his mother to keep Livvy an extra night so that he could get the process started before he’d have to face the worst of all this. His father had shown up this morning to help Thor get through it all, for which Thor was extremely grateful. He was finding it hard not to keep slipping into a daze where he didn’t have to think about anything.

Livvy ran to him, jumping into his arms. Thor caught her without even thinking about it, and held his daughter close. “Daddy!” she shouted again, laughing as she hugged him, nearly spilling the milkshake Frigga had bought for her on the way home down Thor’s back. “Daddy! Hockey!”

Thor frowned at her. “Did you watch the game last night?” he asked. Thor was a sports writer, so Livvy occasionally liked to watch the games Thor had to cover, even if she didn’t watch them with him. It made her feel like she could be helpful to Thor when he worked.

“Yes,” Frigga answered, watching as her granddaughter laughed and clapped her hands. “And she decided she wants to be a professional hockey player when she grows up.”

“Yep!” Livvy shouted. “Can I play hockey, Daddy?”

“Of course you can, baby,” Thor answered, hugging her back.

Children were interesting creatures. They could sense a mood more easily than most adults. As soon as Thor hugged Livvy, her laughter died down. She hugged Thor back desperately. “Daddy? What’s wrong?”

Thor’s breath hitched. He wasn’t ready to do this; he’d never be ready to do this.

“Thor,” Frigga said softly. Her hand landed on his arm, gentle and almost comforting. “Do you want us to stay?”

Thor took a deep breath and shook his head. “No. I…If Dad could come over again in the morning..?”

“Of course,” Odin answered. “We’ll finish it all up tomorrow.”

“I’ll come to look after Livvy. We’ll spend the day together again, sweetheart. Won’t that be fun?” There wasn’t even a discussion about Livvy going to school tomorrow.

Livvy nodded hesitantly, clinging onto Thor. She was confused and upset. Thor could tell she was only seconds away from crying. “Thanks, Mom,” he murmured. It made it easier knowing they’d be back in the morning.

“Daddy?” Livvy asked after the sound of the door shutting behind Frigga and Odin had faded. “What’s wrong?”

Thor sat down on the couch, Livvy refusing to let go of him as she clung to his shirt. He was scaring her, and it felt horrible, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know how to make any of this better. “I have some bad news, Livvy. Mommy….” Thor had to pause for another breath, working the lump from his throat. “Mommy isn’t coming home, Livvy.”

“Of course she is,” Livvy said as if Thor was stupid, a tone she’d picked up from Loki. It only made things harder. “Mommy leaves for a few days, but she always comes back.” Livvy smiled up at Thor, framing his face with her hand and the Styrofoam cup, her milkshake pressed up against Thor’s cheek. “I miss her too, but she’ll be back.”

It should have been impossible for Thor to hurt anymore. It should have been, but it wasn’t. “No, Livvy.” He could do this without crying, he could. He had to be strong for Livvy. “There was an accident. You know what an accident is, right?”

Livvy nodded, going right back to upset.

“Mommy was in an accident,” Thor repeated. “She isn’t coming back, Livvy.”

“Why?” Livvy demanded.

“Because she can’t. If she could she would, but…but she can’t.”

“Why?” Livvy shouted. She pushed against Thor until he let her go, and hopped down onto the floor. The milkshake tipped over, spilling out across the carpet. Why!”

“Livvy, she-”

“Don’t say can’t!” Livvy screamed. She ran to her room and slammed the door.

Thor forced himself to stand and followed, sinking to the floor in the hallway across from her door. He sat there, listening to Livvy cry herself out. It took a few hours, but eventually she opened the door again, crawling into Thor’s lap, holding onto him as she cried all over again.

/

 _Three months without Thor._ “Hey, I’ve got something for you.”

Loki looked up from the hologram spread of data laid out before her, glaring at Tony. “I’m busy,” she snapped.

“Yeah, going over the same data for the thousandth time.” Tony shoved the datapad in front of her face. “Come on, Clint and Steve went to a hockey game to get this for you. Don’t let their suffering be in vain.”

Still glaring, Loki turned the datapad on. Immediately a video came up, parents cheering on their kids as they skated around an ice rink. Loki picked out Thor immediately. His large blond head was hard to miss. His eyes looked strained, but he was cheering with the rest of the audience.

It took Loki a moment to find her what with heavy mask over her face, but eventually she realized one of the goalies was Livvy. All the kids were unsteady on their skates, but Livvy was bouncing around happily before the net, blocking the puck whenever it came near her.

With seconds left on the clock, and Loki feeling way more anticipation than she should have for a little league game, one of the opposing players shot the puck toward Livvy. She blocked it easily just as the clock ran out.

Livvy took off her mask and skated toward Thor, the brightest smile on her face. She was somewhat shaky, but much better than the other children (she really was, it wasn’t just Loki’s biased opinion).

The video ended, much too soon, leaving Loki with a mess of emotions she thought she had dealt with months ago. “I’m going to eliminate Thanos and his entire network. I’m going to wipe them off the face of the earth, and then I am going back to my family.”

“Of course,” Tony agreed swiftly. Neither of them believed for a second that Loki would actually be going back to her family. That just wasn’t how the world worked.

“I’ve got another present for you.” Tony flicked at his own datapad, sending the file flying to Loki’s. “Turns out your replacement, Gamora, has turned on Thanos as well, and she’s brought a whole slue of new info with her.”

“Excellent,” Loki replied, embracing the sudden wave of viciousness she felt flood through her. “Let’s get to work.”


	2. Chapter 2

_They might not need me; but they might. I'll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity._

_\- Emily Dickinson_

 

 _One year without Loki._ “Livvy, we need to go! We can’t be late for my first practice as your team’s coach!”

“Ready, Daddy!”

Thor bit his lip to keep from cursing when Livvy suddenly appeared behind him. It was her new favorite thing, but it was going to cause Thor to have a heart attack. “Where’s your gear?” he asked, eyeing his smiling child.

“In the car.” Livvy was still for all of a second before she was bouncing on her heels again, too much energy contained in her small form.

“And what happened to your hair?” Thor asked. He had combed Livvy’s hair out only an hour ago, but currently it looked like she’d gone tree climbing and gotten her hair stuck on every branch.

“Got stuck in the door handle,” Livvy answered, clearly unperturbed by her state of disorder.

Thor sighed and knelt down on one knee so he was level with Livvy. “Stand still,” he ordered as he gathered up her hair, running his fingers through it a few times to work out the knots. “Okay,” he said, transferring the thick bundle to one hand, “now spin.” Livvy giggled as she turned around, Thor holding her hair in his hand as it tightened together. Thor stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, and wrapped Livvy’s hair around itself until it formed a tight bun on the back of her head. It only took him a few seconds to place a couple of ties in her hair that would hold it in place.

When Loki went on her business trips, Thor had simply brushed Livvy’s hair and left it at that. Loki was the one who did the more complex styles. But one year as a single parent had given Thor plenty of time to practice. If his daughter wanted her hair to be pretty, then Thor was going to make sure it was pretty.

“All right, you’re all set,” Thor told her.

“Yay!” Livvy raced off, heading for the minivan. “Come on, Daddy! We can’t be late for practice!”

Thor shook his head, but followed along at a more measured pace, a large smile on his face.

/

 _Five years without Loki._ Thor did all of his writing from home, but about once a month he had to leave for three or four days to interview a team playing out of town. Livvy was always uncomfortable with it, and after what happened to Loki, Thor couldn’t blame her. But he always came home, and Livvy was always there to greet him. So, the one time she wasn’t, Thor knew something was wrong.

“She’s here,” Frigga rushed to say when she saw her son’s worried face. “She’s been upset about something ever since she came home from school though. She wouldn’t talk about it, went straight to her room and locked the door. I couldn’t even get her to come out for dinner.” Frigga was obviously distressed by whatever was bothering her granddaughter, and although she appeared calm, Thor caught the way her fingers twitched, her lips set in a thin line. Frigga was not an easy woman to upset, but this had obviously done the trick.

Frigga didn’t have to say anything else. “I’ll go see if I can talk to her,” Thor said, setting down his overnight bag in the middle of the kitchen and heading down the hallway to Livvy’s room.

“Livvy?” he said after knocking on her door. When he didn’t get a response he added, “I’m coming in.”

Thor opened the door slowly and poked his head in. Livvy was sitting on her bed, propped up against the numerous pillows she deemed were necessary to sleep at night. She didn’t look up when Thor entered her room, only continued to stare down at the paper in her hands. Thor sat down on the edge of her bed, giving Livvy some room, but close enough to be comforting. “What’ve you got there?”

“Mother’s Day card,” Livvy answered miserably.

Thor waited. That Livvy had answered him when she hadn’t answered Frigga was a good start, and if he gave her time, hopefully she’d keep going.

Sure enough, a few minutes of silence later, Livvy asked, “She’s really not coming home, is she?”

“I’m afraid not, Liv,” Thor answered, feeling the old wounds from Loki’s loss reopen. Livvy had been too small to really understand what it meant to lose her mother, but Thor knew at some point she’d get there. It seemed like now was that moment.

“I know we go visit her, her grave, but I don’t know…I always thought that…that.” Livvy’s bent knees suddenly straightened so they were lying flat against the mattress, her whole body radiating with frustration at not being able to find the proper words. “I thought she’d come back,” she finally manages to articulate.

“Liv-” Thor started, but Livvy was on a roll now and she wasn’t about to stop.

“And now her stupid card is ruined!” Livvy shouted, throwing the paper to the floor in disgust. “Well, she-she doesn’t deserve a card! If she wanted one she shouldn’t have died! She should have come home! Everyone else gets to hand their cards to their moms, but I have to put mine beside a grave! There’s no happy smiles, no thank yous, no hugs, there’s just cold stone! She was supposed to come home! She should have come home!” By the time Livvy finished screaming, she had broken down completely, loud wretched sobs tearing their way from her throat.

Thor felt himself teetering on the edge as well, but he would hold himself together because right now Livvy needed him. He pulled Livvy to him, wrapping his arms around her in a firm embrace. He held her while she cried, working through the five year old grief she only now understood.

“So what happened to your card?” Thor asked when Livvy went from full blown sobbing to quiet sniffles.

“Spilled juice on it,” she answered, her voice muffled by Thor’s chest. “It’s all sticky, and when I picked it up, it torn nearly in half. I worked hard on it.”

“It’ll be okay,” Thor told her, squeezing his daughter tight for a brief moment. “Mom would understand.”

Livvy continued to sniffle for a few more minutes before she lifted her head. “Daddy?”

“Milkshakes?” Thor asked, knowing what Livvy was going to ask for without her having to voice it.

“Yeah,” she answered, still sounding miserable.

“Okay, but you’ve got to come out to the kitchen for that.”

Livvy nodded and slid off the bed, keeping hold of Thor’s hand. “Daddy?” she said again after they’d taken a few steps together.

“Livvy?”

“Can you help me make a new card?”

Thor couldn’t help but smile, even though there was a strange feeling of grief and content settling in his heart. He wanted to laugh, cry, and, strangely enough, sleep, all at the same time.

“Of course, Livvy.”

/

 _Seven years without Loki._ “Daddy.”

Thor looked up from the article he was currently writing about the opening of baseball season to see his daughter standing on the threshold of his office, shifting her feet nervously. “Did you kill someone?”

Livvy rolled her eyes so hard her head moved with them. “ _Daddy,_ ” she groaned in exasperation.

Thor chuckled at his own joke, feeling rather pleased with himself. “What do you need, Liv?”

“I was wondering,” Livvy began, going back to shuffling her feet against the carpet, “if you could take me to get my ears pierced?”

Thor studied her for a long moment before he opened his mouth. “Is this about what that Tracey girl said to you the other day?” Last week, Livvy had come home visibly upset. Apparently one of the girls in her class had said that since Livvy was so obsessed with boy stuff, she was never going to be pretty. Thor had never actually hated a child before, but that brought him close. Livvy had always believed she was pretty right up until that point, and she had been in conflict with her image ever since. It hurt Thor to see her confidence go out the window over a single comment, and he didn’t know how to help his daughter.

“No!” Livvy answered immediately. It was followed by a shrug and a, “Maybe. I just want something that makes me feel pretty.”

“Look, Livvy, you already are beautiful, but-”

“You’re my dad. You have to say that,” she interrupted.

“ _But_ ,” Thor continued, emphasizing the word to dissuade any further protest, “if that’s really what you want, for yourself and not because of anyone else, then we’ll go get your ears pierced as soon as I’m done with this article.”

Livvy’s face brightened immediately, and she rocked on her heels in excitement. “Thank you, Daddy!”

 

It turned out, Thor was not so okay with his daughter getting holes punched in her ears. He flinched when the needle went in, but his reaction made Livvy laugh and she said it didn’t hurt at all. Thor left the store with six brand new pairs of earrings, and a twelve year old filled with a new sense of self confidence.

/

 _Eleven years without Loki._ “Was that the obligatory ‘this date is going horribly, get me out’ call?” Jane nervously joked as Thor tucked his cell phone back in his pocket.

“I’m sorry, that was my daughter.” Thor truly was sorry. He liked Jane. He’d had a few dates, a couple of one night stands, but no one had really caught his interest. Jane was nice though, and Thor wanted to get back out there, so he’d asked her out. Only now, Livvy needed him. “She was at Homecoming tonight, but apparently something happened. She needs me to pick her up.”

Jane winced good naturedly. “Ouch. Yeah, she probably needs you right now. Go on, I’ll be okay.”

“I’m really sorry,” Thor apologized again.

“Don’t be. We’ll try again some other time.” Jane smiled at him, but there seemed to be an understanding that there wouldn’t actually be ‘some other time.’ It was like someone had flicked an off switch between them.

Thor, despite Jane’s protest, left her with money to cover dinner and a cab ride home.

 

Livvy had said she would wait for him at a local dinner a couple blocks away from her high school. Thor didn’t like her walking by herself after dark, but without being there he couldn’t stop her. He sighed in relief when he entered the diner and saw Livvy sitting in one of the booths drinking a milkshake.

Thor winced at the sight of the drink. Milkshakes were only for when she was upset, and from the way Livvy looked like she wanted to murder someone, upset was an understatement at this point. Thor sat down across from her, the waitress coming up before he could ask her anything. He ordered his own milkshake and waited until it arrived before he spoke. “So,” he said slowly, sliding the straw into his glass, “what happened?”

“Jason is an ass,” Livvy snapped. She went back to sucking on her straw, glaring daggers at nothing in particular.

“Are you going to kill him?”

“Maybe,” Livvy snapped again, then added a mumbled, “thinking ‘bout it.”

“Well, just don’t get caught if you do.”

Livvy’s lips twitched in an almost smile before she caught herself, leveling an annoyed look at her dad for causing her any type of amusement at the moment.

They drank their milkshakes without saying anything else. By the time they finished Livvy was entertaining the idea of only maiming Jason.

/

 _Twelve years without Loki._ Thor eyed the envelope on sitting on the kitchen counter for the billionth time that afternoon. He’d been doing so ever since the mailman had handed it to him a few hours earlier. Thor desperately wanted to read the contents of whatever was inside, but it was addressed to Livvy, and by rights she should be the first one to read it. Still, he really wanted to know.

At 3:45p.m. exactly, he heard Michaela’s car pull up in the driveway. Michaela and Livvy had been best friends since the first day of high school. She’d inherited her father’s old Thunderbird for her sixteenth birthday, and Livvy had been carpooling with her almost every day since. It was pure torture standing there waiting for Livvy to finish talking to Michaela and come inside. Honestly, they’d talked the whole way from school; shouldn’t they be done talking by now?

At 3:51p.m., Livvy finally walked through the front door and announced, “I’m home.”

“There’s mail for you!” Thor answered almost before she was done speaking.

Livvy entered the kitchen with wide eyes. She caught sight of the envelope immediately and stopped in her tracks, eyes fixed to the intimidating piece of paper. “Is it..?” she asked breathlessly.

Thor nodded, both too nervous and too excited to speak anymore.

Livvy slowly walked the few steps to the kitchen counter and picked up the envelope with trembling hands. Thor held his breath as she tore open the seal, but she stopped as her fingers reached inside to pull out the letter. Livvy looked up at Thor with a kind of wild excitement, scared, but the good kind of scared that happened before trying something new. Thor nodded his head, offering her one of his bright smiles. “Whatever it says, Livvy, it’s okay.”

“Right,” Livvy answered, sounding only half there. With a deep breath she pulled the letter from its confines and unfolded it. For a second her eyes didn’t move, stuck on the letterhead, but with another deep breath to get her nerves under control, Livvy’s eyes moved down to read its contents.

Thor knew the moment Livvy began rocking back and forth on her heels, and his face split into a huge grin. All the pent up anxiety from the afternoon vanished just like that. “You got in.”

“I got in,” Livvy said as if she didn’t believe it. “I got in!” she repeated. Her head snapped up and the grin that crossed her own lips mirrored Thor’s. “Dad, I got in! I’m going to Yale!” She rushed around the counter and threw her arms around her father.

Thor hugged her back, nearly lifting her off the ground in his excitement. “I’m so proud of you, Liv.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

/

 _Thirteen years without Loki._ The moment he walked into his house, Thor felt something was wrong. Something was off, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it. “Livvy?” he called, thinking maybe his daughter was up to something. But the house had never felt wrong when Livvy was in it; and besides, she wasn’t supposed to be back for another hour.

“Your daughter isn’t home yet, Mr. Odinson.”

Thor whirled around, fists raised to defend himself if need be, and saw the man who had told him about Loki’s death: Coulson. It had been thirteen years, but Thor would never forget that face. In the logical part of his mind, he knew Coulson wasn’t to blame, but Thor still associated him with the worst night of his life, and he had never wanted to see that man ever again. “How the hell did you get in my house?” Thor demanded, striding toward the smaller man. “What do you want?” _Please don’t be Livvy. I can’t handle losing Livvy too._

He was so focused on Coulson, he didn’t notice the woman sitting on the couch, the same one he’d sunk down on when he had been given the news. “Thor!” she demanded sharply. Thor would have been drawn to her even if he hadn’t wished his attention to shift.

There were lines forming around her eyes that gave her a certain hardness. Thor remembered it, it had been there when they first met, but with time it had been worn away. Whatever had happened to her in the last thirteen years had brought it all back. There were strands of silver in her hair, and a scar on her above her right wrist that hadn’t been there before.

But despite the changes, she was still recognizable. She was still beautiful. She was still his wife, alive and whole.

Thor let out a shuddering breath, trying to process what he was seeing. Thirteen years of dealing with her being gone, with accepting that Loki wouldn’t be part of his life, none of it helped him now. If anything, it only made it worse.

“Loki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was all supposed to be fluffy, but uh, some angsty stuff slipped in. Oops?
> 
> I really didn't think the whole Secret Agent Loki thing would go over so well. It really only came about so that I could have a reason for not including Loki without killing her off. So, I didn't really plan to write anything with Loki dealing with Thanos, but eh, maybe I'll add a chapter with it. ~~I'll probably leave it up to marty. This story is for her after all, so it's whatever she wants.~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, after a stupidly long time, my attempt to write happy single dad Thor for marty-mc which turned into a giant mess of feels, is completed. I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter.

_Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement.  
Henry Ford_

 

 “Mr. Odinson,” the suit began, using that same tone he had when he had come to tell Thor of Loki’s death.

Only Loki wasn’t dead. She was standing right in front of him, her very presence ripping his world out from under him. He’d hoped and prayed so many times for it to be some mistake, for Loki to be alive, but when he had finally accepted that Loki wasn’t going to be a part of his life, she came back. It was such a very Loki thing to do.

“I know our last meeting was on rather unfortunate circumstances, but it seems now I have to retract the statements I made then. It turns out your wife was –”

“Stop,” Loki interrupted him. It seemed she could no longer look at Thor, and was very determinedly staring at a spot on the carpet. “We are not giving him the cover story, Coulson.”

Coulson’s eyes dart to her, unsure but not surprised. “Loki, it’s classified information.”

“After everything I’ve done for you, you owe me,” Loki snapped. “I am telling him the truth.”

Coulson stood completely still for a tense moment before he finally, slowly, gave the barest hint of a nod. “I heard no discussion of revealing classified information to a civilian who has not signed a nondisclosure agreement. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

Thor didn’t move, not even after he heard the door close behind Coulson, leaving him alone with his not dead wife.

“I’m flattered,” he finally said, the bite in his tone making his voice unrecognizable even to his own ears. “You’re not usually one to insist on the truth.”

“Oh, don’t be petty,” Loki responded, her usual snapping hostility diluted by weariness. “It’s not in your nature.”

“And how would you know?”

Loki finally looked up, that feeling of lost helplessness in her eyes tearing at Thor’s heart all over again. “Do you want to know where I was, or would you prefer I leave?”

“Don’t!” Thor surprised himself with the quickness of his opposition, brought on by one simple word. Loki winced, her eyes going back down to the carpet. “You don’t get to say that word or any of its variations and synonyms, not after you’ve been gone for thirteen years. Thirteen years! Livvy leaves for college tomorrow!”

“I know,” Loki whispered.

Thor took a few deep breaths, trying to rein in his temper. He had forgotten just how easily Loki could rile him up. He sat on the far end of the couch, and took another breath. Loki was so close he could easily reach out and pull her into his arms. He wanted to, more than anything he wanted to, but he forced his hands to remain at his side. Thor needed to know what had happened to her, why Loki had had to spend so much time away from her family. “Tell me.”

Loki bit her bottom lip. Thor could see whatever guards she still had up crash down as she slowly began her story. “When I was fourteen, I ran away from the foster family I’d been placed with. I stole to survive. I got really, _really_ good at it. No one ever caught me, no one besides a crime lord named Thanos. He offered me a job, one that came with his protection. I couldn’t say no.

“At first, everything continued pretty much as it had been. I gave Thanos a cut of whatever I stole, he saw that I was protected and the goods fenced. The more I demonstrated my skills, the more resources I received to pull off larger jobs. I was nineteen when Thanos’ lover died. He…he made me her replacement, another proposal it would have been impossible to say no to.” Loki’s hands were balled into fists, her nails cutting into her skin. She’d always done that when angry. Thor finally allowed himself to touch her, to pull her hand into his lap and force her fingers to unclench before Loki could hurt herself. He didn’t say anything as he waited for Loki to continue.

“I wanted out,” Loki admitted, Thor’s ears having to strain to catch the words. “I realized too late what I’d gotten myself into, but I couldn’t find a way to escape. About a year later, I learned SHIELD-” Loki paused and waved her other hand toward the spot Coulson had occupied earlier, “-had their eyes on Thanos. I exchanged my knowledge of his operations for their protection. I began actively working against Thanos’ organization, until a certain someone decided to waltz into my life and make me crave normality.” Loki interrupted herself with a soft laugh. “Do you remember how angry I was when I realized I was in love with you? You were so persistent, and charming, and endearing…you changed everything. I had planned to live out the rest of my life as a spy, but when I met you, all I wanted was to grow old with you.”

Thor had to unclench his jaw before he spoke, feeling so overwhelmed he was unsure of how to even start processing any of this. “So, your business trips..?”

“I was setting up scenarios to test SHIELD’s security, to find any weaknesses before they could be exploited. The night I d-…disappeared, one of Thanos’ agents had made me. I…took care of him, but I had no way of knowing if he knew my alias or if he’d contacted any of his superiors. I had to disappear, Thor. They would have come after you and Livvy if they had found me.” Loki looked up, desperately seeking some form of understanding from Thor. “I know I hurt you, I know, and it eats away at me, but I only did it to protect my family.”

“You couldn’t have sent us some sort of message? Anything to let us know that you were all right, that you might be coming back?”

“I didn’t think I was,” Loki admitted. “I wanted you to move on with your life.”

“And if I had? If I had remarried, what would you have done?”

“I wouldn’t be here now. I’d let you keep on going with your life as is.”

“Bullshit,” Thor declared. “You are a jealous person, Loki, always have been. You would have waltzed right in here and torn my life apart.”

“What does it matter?” Loki threw herself off the couch, spinning on her heel to stare down at Thor. “You didn’t remarry, so what does it matter? What do you want from me, Thor? It’s a miracle I’m even here! We displaced Thanos ten years ago. He died two years ago from a heart attack, but he left behind an intricate series of people to take over. We had to disassemble the whole organization, not simply cut off the head! All I wanted to do was come home, but I couldn’t, not until it was done. It wasn’t safe!” Loki was both fuming and crying, tears making their way down her cheeks. “I just wanted to come home.”

Thor stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving Loki’s. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and pulled Loki to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. The moment she was pressed up against him, Loki broke down completely. She sobbed into Thor’s shirt, hands balling up in the material.

“You’re home, Loki,” Thor whispered, running his fingers through her hair and kissing the top of her head. “You’re not forgiven, not by a long shot, but you’re home, and we’ll make things all right.”

Thor didn’t know how long they stood there as Loki cried, but he didn’t mind. It had been too long since he had last held his wife in his arms. The feel of her, her scent, her voice, all of it was so real and close.

“What do you want to tell Livvy?” Loki finally asked. She had calmed down a few minutes ago, and was now leaning her head on Thor’s chest, neither making any move to step away from one another.

“What was this cover story you had?”

“That I was mugged and my car stolen. The person who died in the crash was my mugger, and I was left with a severe concussion and a case of amnesia. My memories came back slowly, so I didn’t know until now that I had a family.”

“That’s a horrible cover.” Both Thor and Loki looked up sharply as their daughter’s voice interrupted them. Livvy was leaning against the arched opening into the living room, looking none too impressed with the situation, a carefully crafted blank mask. “Besides,” she added, pointing over her shoulder toward the front of the house, “those guys in the unmarked cars hanging around for thirteen years kind of ruin it.”

“How long have you been there?” Thor asked her. Loki was frozen, her eyes wide as she stared at her daughter.

“Long enough to know she’s my mother, not long enough to know the truth.”

“Livvy-”

“I barely remember you,” Livvy snapped, cutting Loki off. Thor hadn’t realized until now just how similar she sounded to her mother. She marched over to them, eyes locked on Loki as she continued. “It was the lack of you that hurt more than losing you. But Dad, he loved you so much, did for so long. He tried to be strong for me, but when it all got to be too much I could hear him crying at night over you. He missed you so damn much, and now-now…why did you leave?”

“To protect you,” Loki answered, trying to remain strong, but with her own daughter facing her down, Thor could see the cracks start to show.

“Bullshit.”

“Livvy, she was protecting us,” Thor interrupted, trying to calm the situation.

“She’s the one that hurt us!”

“Because hurting you was a better option than seeing you killed!”

Livvy’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to work out a response, but nothing came out. Thor guided his daughter to the couch and sat her down, one arm wrapped around her shoulders for support. “Tell her, Loki. She deserves the truth as much as I do.”

/

“Livvy, we’re going to be late,” Thor shouted at his daughter’s door before returning to the kitchen.

“She still won’t come out?” Loki asked before taking a sip of her coffee.

Last night had been seen the best sleep Thor had had in a long time. They hadn’t had sex, but they had held each other close, hands running hands over one another’s bodies as they remapped every bump and curve. Thor had drifted off with one hand on the back of Loki’s neck, and woken up with her practically lying across his chest.

Thor shook his head and sighed heavily. “She’s got to be moved in today, and we need to leave soon if we’re going to beat the traffic.” Thor didn’t like his little girl leaving for college, he was proud of her, but he would miss her terribly. He was, however, determined to be practical about the whole situation.

“Do you want me to come?”

Thor hesitated, realizing then that he was running his fingers through Loki’s hair. The last thing he ever wanted to do was let Loki out of his sight again, but the choice really wasn’t up to him. “I think Livvy needs to decide that.”

Loki nodded, leaning against Thor’s arm. “I missed so much. She was a baby when I left, and now she’s an adult.”

“You can’t change it now. You’ll just have to be there for her from now on.” Thor bent down to kiss Loki, their lips brushing together to remind each other how good it had felt before.

“It is so weird to see you two be all lovey dovey,” Livvy declared. She busied herself getting a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

“Livvy, we need to go now if we’re going to make check in at a reasonable time,” Thor insisted, looking down at his watch.

“I’m not going-”

“Livvy-”

“Today. Geeze, Dad, let me finish my sentence before you jump to conclusions. I called and explained the situation – the ‘amnesia’ one, not the ‘my mom was hiding from the mob’ one – and they’ve agreed to let me move in Sunday night so that I can spend some time with my family. You’ve got two and a half days to make me believe you’re not going to hurt Dad again,” she directed at Loki.

“A challenge, but one I shall accept and take most seriously,” Loki responded.

Livvy smirked, caught herself, and frowned. Livvy may have had Thor’s appearance, but her whole attitude was Loki. It would take some time, a lot of time, for the damage caused by Loki’s loss and reappearance to heal, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t be a family in the mean time.

The reasonable part of Thor’s brain knew why she did it, accepted that in her place he would have done the same thing. The emotional part, however, was a complete mess. Thor suspected Livvy was in the same boat.

/

By the time the movie credits were rolling, Thor was snoring softly on Loki’s shoulder.

“He always falls asleep when I choose the movie,” Livvy whispered, keeping her voice down so she wouldn’t wake him. “He tries to stay up, but he’s never done it, not once.”

Loki’s smile went unseen in the darkness of the room. “He did the same thing with me before you were born. After that, we were both always too tired to finish a movie.”

Mother and daughter laughed awkwardly, striving to find some sort of middle ground they could bond over, but the situation was so strange Loki found herself having trouble talking to her own daughter. They ended up lapsing into silence yet again, just as they had with every attempt beforehand.

“You know,” Livvy started slowly once the DVD had sent itself back to the menu screen, her knees pulled up under chin causing her voice to muffle somewhat, “I really don’t remember much of you.”

That hurt, maybe more than anything else that tore at Loki. Everything else could eventually be fixed, but nothing would change the things she had missed. She could never go back to see all the plays and recitals she’d missed. She could never watch one of Livvy’s hockey games in person, cheer her on from the stands with all the other parents. She would never be there to comfort Livvy after a breakup. She had disappeared during the years Livvy most needed her.

“But,” Livvy continued, unaware of Loki’s inner torment, “Dad kept a bottle of your old perfume on your vanity stand. When I really missed you, missed the idea of you, I’d sneak in and smell it. It always reminded me of when you’d braid my hair.” Livvy sniffled, wiping at her cheek. “Dad learned, you know? How to braid hair that is. He tried so hard to make sure I didn’t feel different for not having a mom.”

Loki took a deep breath, dabbing at her own tears on her cheeks. “Pigtails,” she said once she knew she could do so without her voice shaking.

“What?”

“The morning I left, I braided your hair. You wanted pigtails tied with red hair bands. The whole morning you were telling me about why otters were your favorite animal. I told Thor we were going to go to the aquarium when I got back. It put the biggest smile on your face.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course.” Loki smiled sadly, leaning into Thor’s solid weight next to her. “You may not remember much of me, but I remember everything of you. I seared my memories of you into my mind, relived them every night. There was not a single day that went by that I didn’t think of you.”

Livvy sniffled again, a sob escaping from her throat before she could catch it. Loki moved off the couch to stand in front of her, letting Thor’s head drop onto the armrest. Loki bent down to wrap her arms around Livvy, the first time she had touched her daughter since she’d kissed her goodbye that morning thirteen years ago. Livvy immediately latched on, refusing to let go of her mother.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”


End file.
